Sunny. Crowded. Expensive.

Movin' On Up

2006-06-13T23:21:00.000-07:00

Whether or not this is good news I'll leave for you to decide, but Sunny Crowded Expensive is changing URLs.

That's right, faithful readers, SCE no longer needs that ".blogspot" extension.

The new url is, simply,

www.sunnycrowdedexpensive.com

I'm having some trouble getting some of the kinks worked out, but things should be ready to go within the next 24 hours.

Please tell all your friends and change your links accordingly.

Don't worry, you'll make friends at the new site just like you had here.

BREAKING NEWS: FIFA Is Clueless

2006-06-12T10:50:00.000-07:00

The United States did its best to convince cynics and anti-Americans everywhere that it may still be years away from competing with the world's top teams, falling 3-0 in its World Cup opener to the Czech Republic Monday.

From the opening minutes, the Americans looked flat, slow and seriously overmatched against a Czech team who to my mostly untrained eye appears to be a serious contencer to advance deep into this tournament.

Jan Koller, who at 6'8" seemed taller than the entire American defense combined, scored in just the game's 5th minute and the rout was on. Despite a near-miss by Captain Claudio Reyna which struck the left post, this was never a competitive contest.

Tomas Rosicky added another to the books with a beautiful bending shot before the break. He would add another late goal to make it 3-0.

Everything about this performance was awful.

After an 18 month PR push to make people in this country actually give a damn about this sport, it was striking how inept the Americans looked today. Is this really a good soccer team?

Who will make the plays for this team? Landon Donovan was a non-factor (he is still without a World Cup goal). Where was DeMarcus Beasley? Eddie Johnson offered the only real second half scoring chances after entering at the half.

This is an experienced team with 12 returning starters, but this match looked nothing more than the Varsity versus the JV.

Pathetic.

Like the United States, this bird laid a big egg.

Champion of Champions

2006-06-11T10:08:00.000-07:00

Without question, there is one place in the world that every discerning fan of tennis wished to be on this Sunday.

Paris, France. Stad Roland Garros. Court Phillipe Chatrier.

Occasionally, in athletics we are fortunate enough to have two competitors that both reach the pinnacle of their respective sports simultaneously (or at least close to it). I think of Chamberlain and Russell, Magic and Bird, Ali and Frazier, Affirmed and Alydar.

Tennis is lucky enough to have such an occasion with Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer. Those who know me even relatively well likely know of my near mancrush on Federer. His poise, grace and overall prowess is unsurpassed in perhaps anything I have known (athletic or otherwise). For my money, he is greatness personified.

And along came the kid from Mallorca. The kid with a 6-1 career record against the world's number one. The kid with a stunning 60 match winning streak on a surface that can on any day humble even the most worthy competitor.

Today, again, was Nadal's time at Roland Garros.

His unrelenting play from the baseline and near flawless ground strokes seemed tailor made for the rugged red clay. Point after point Nadal scurried from sideline to sideline, often 10 feet or more behind the baseline, returning balls that were certain winners against lesser professionals.

After the match, Nadal was all class in saying, "This is my best final against the best player in history."

This was Federer's first defeat in 8 Grand Slam Finals.

After securing his second straight French Open title, Nadal rolled around in the dirt.

Zarqawi Death Details Emerge

2006-06-09T10:56:00.000-07:00

Somewhat conflicting accounts of the circumstances surrounding the final moments of terrorist hero Abu Musab al -Zarqawi's life came to light on this Friday, a day afer an F-16 fighter jet dropped two 500 pound bombs on a house that was said to have been "safe."

In fact, the kingpin of al-Qaeda in Iraq was indeed alive when American and Iraqi troops arived at the scene of the killing yesterday.

"He mumbled something, but it was indistinguishable and it was very short," U.S. military spokesman Maj. Gen. William Caldwell said at a news conference.

My guess is he mumbled a thing or two about Allah and hating Westerners.

Perhaps Caldwell's most awkward moments came when asked whether Zarqawi was shot when troops arived (in essence, "put out of his misery").

Caldwell said he could not give a definitive answer based on what he had read in the latest official U.S. military report on the event. "I'll go back and specifically ask that," he said. "But no, there was nothing in the report that said he had received any wounds from some kind of weapons system like that."

"Some kind of weapons system like that."

For the record, the above paragraph appeared in the Associated Press story by Kim Gamil and Robert Burns, but was removed within an hour on Yahoo!. A little strange.

Yahoo! now has the story on its front page without the paragraph (though it was there at 10:15 local time).

Yahoo! Censors

While this link from the Calgary Sun still has it (5th Paragraph).

Calgary Sun Does Not

Can you say martyr?

Felines Newest Reality TV Subjects

2006-06-09T09:45:00.000-07:00

In a bold and progressive move, Animal Planet has teamed up with Meow Mix cat food to launch the world's first reality television show for cats.

As the cats are put through their weekly paces in contests including best purr and top post-climber, a panel of judges will decide who stays and who goes. When a cat is voted out, it will move to a permanent home and get a year's supply of Meow Mix as a consolation prize.

Two winners will be chosen, one by judges and one by viewers in online voting. The judges' choice will get a new family and the title of Meow Mix's "feline vice president of research and development," the company said.

A friend of mine in the cat game told me some sharp money on the calico made her an early favorite at 5-2.

Kitty TV

MeowMixHouse.com

Not one of the competitors.

Another Election

2006-06-06T15:41:00.000-07:00

If there ever were a state that loved to hold elections, that state would surely be California.

Recalls, special elections, California just loves to vote on things. Today marked no less than the fifth voting day since I moved to the Golden State in the Summer of 2003.

Voter fatigue is a major concern.

For me, on this Tuesday, the concern was actual fatigue. I had played in a semi-marathon poker game last night and woke up a bit late for work.

Truthfully, the entire decision of whether or not to vote in this primary election hinged solely on the location of my polling place.

North of Wilshire = No. South of Wilshire = Yes.

For those of you not familiar with the intersection of Wilshire and Fairfax on a typical weekday morning, suffice it to say that this is an important distinction.

Luckily for those candidates who earned my endorsement, the vote was held at a church that is South of the dreaded Wilshire / Fairfax intersection and right on my way to work.

I'm always struck by how little I know about the various people running for various positions (some of which clearly should not be voted on, in my opinion).

In the interest of full disclosure, following is how I voted:

Governor: Steve Westly
Lieutenant Governor: John Garamendi
Secretary of State: Debra Bowen
Controller: Joe Dunn
Attorney General: Rocky Delgadillo (how could you not vote for this name?)
Insurance Commissioner: Cruz Bustamante
U.S. Senator: Dianne Feinstein
U.S. District 33 Rep: Mervin Evans
State Sentaor (26th District): Marvin Columbus McCoy
County Sheriff: Don Meredith

State Measure 81 - Yes, $600,000,000 to improve and renovate California public libraries.
State Measure 82 - Yes, charges those with an income of over $400,000 an additional 1.7% yearly to fund universal pre-school.

As for all of the judges, I voted for the ones that seemed the least militant (ie professor = yes, prosecutor = no).

As for name recognition, I'd only heard of 5 of the names I voted for prior to doing so (Westly, Garamendi, Delgadillo, Bustamante, Feinstein).

Residents > 35,000,000.

Clones Bested by Mother Nature

2006-06-05T15:22:00.000-07:00

The first ever athletic event contested with clones was conducted in none other that Winnemucca, Nevada this weekend.

Two cloned mule brothers, Idaho Gem and Idaho Star, finished third and seventh in an eight mule race at the 20th annual Winnemucca Mule Races, Show & Draft Horse Challenge after winning their qualifying heats.

Throughbred breeding standards are clear in stating that all registered horses must be conceived via a "live mount" between a registered dam and sire so we won't be seeing any of Satan's creatures in the Kentucky Derby.

But it is unclear, however, whether the American Quarter Horse Racing Association (AQHA), which has much more lenient breeding regulations, will ever allow cloned horses to race.

Two of these mules are not the same

Where am I?

Jockey Jesse Perez rides cloned mule Idaho Gem, center, across the finish line for the win in his qualifying heat Saturday. The animals were cloned at the University of Idaho.

Larry David's "Manager"

2006-06-03T22:09:00.000-07:00

Dubbing itself as the "hottest sketch comedy in Los Angeles," a group of four separate troupes perform the first Friday of each month at The Highlands in something called "The Comedy Cocktail."

Truthfully, this was above average sketch comedy with the best of it comfortably approaching the level of what a discerning mind might call "good."

Trust me, the only site I could find

What I intend to discuss briefly, however, was the appearance of one Jeff Garlin.

(If you don't know who Jeff Garlin is, please stop reading right now and come back when you're learned).

Garlin was billed at the headliner and that fact alone was enough to ease the pain of shelling out $20 for an amateur comedy show.

When time came for the man of the hour, Garlin appeared a tad uneasy on stage and clearly was without material. He murmured on a bit about a flavored bottle of water he was drinking and the absurdity of the El Capitan theater screening Dumbo across the street.

Things were starting to infringe on the uncomfortable.

Then he proceeds to drag a large U.S Postal Service bin perched atop a stool from backstage. For the next 20 minutes or more (in fact, the promoters were urging him to wrap it up sooner) Jeff Garlin proceeds to give away all of the television "screeners" that have been sent to him for Emmy consideration over the past few weeks.

He also gives away a pile of CAA scripts that have been offered to him and some other "stuff from his trunk."

Most of this is conducted in a matter of fact sort of way without jokes or fanfare.

In the middle of the "set" I thought of Andy Kauffman and the ways in which he tried to redefine what was funny.

Was this a bitter snub by an actor on a show (a show which has never won an Emmy Award) which by nearly all accounts is some of the best comedy on television, now or ever?

Or was it just a lazy comedian cashing in on his minor celebrity? (for the record, at least of portion of the show went to benefit a charity).

Garlin's speaking fees are >$20,00

Pure crap or pure genius?

A cheesy shot that Garlin used to promote his recent stand-up tour.

Last Words

2006-05-31T12:47:00.000-07:00

In our continuing coverage of the perils of plane crashes, this from Paul Phillips' web site.

(if you don't know Phillips, he's a dot-com millionaire turned poker pro who's known for a mathematical mind, Zen-like table demeanor and numerous hair colors (although, I think that has toned down)).

(I wouldn't recommend listening to the audio files if you're at all afraid of flying).

(Oh, what the hell, just go for it!)

Last Words

My Personal Favorites:

1. Pete, sorry.

2. That's it, I'm dead.

3. Hey, what's happening here?

Paul Phillips

Incidentally, three were killed in a small plane crash on this very day in Southern New Jersey.

Small Plane Crashes in Stafford Township

Pacific Southwest Flight 182 goes down in flames following a mid-air collision near San Diego in 1978.

Violence Described as Relentless

2006-05-30T19:47:00.000-07:00

A key word appeared on the headline of the Associated Press report that crossed the newswires this evening.

The word was relentless.

I've been struck during this war (and, naturally, throughout this administration) by the careful word choice of the government and its media. Initially, the so-called insurgents were referred to as resistance fighters, rebels, guerillas and even freedom fighters by some fringe publications.

Ultimately, the word of choice became, almost universally, insurgent.

In late 2004, BBC News Director Helen Boaden addressed the situation as follows:

"It is the best word to use in situations of rebellion or conquest when there is no free-standing government."

BBC News 11/17/2004

So, now that there is a free standing Iraqi government where does that leave us?

As a new Iraqi government struggled to appoint such key positions as head of the Iraqi Army and Police Force, violence increased throughout Western Iraq stretching from Baghdad to the Syrian border. The United States was forced to call a reserve unit of 1,500 combat troops to help restore order to the battered region, but an Army spokesperson said the move was temporary and not to last longer than four months.

Beheadings are becoming a common tactic used by sectarian death squads. The victims often arrive at morgues with their hands bound and showing visible signs of torture.

Apparently, the civil war has begun in earnest when "insurgents" become more concerned with killing one another than they do their American occupiers. Or when their American occupiers are forced to choose sides in an effort to expedite the duration of the conflict.

Relentless

Also, yesterday saw the well publicized death of two CBS reporters who were killed by a roadside bomb, out on patrol covering soldiers who were spending Memorial Day in Iraq.

CBS reporters killed by roadside bomb

This bomb, which was one of many on this Tuesday, killed 12 near a car dealership.

Happy Memorial Day?

2006-05-29T14:52:00.000-07:00

As a holiday, Memorial Day sure has a split personality.

There was some discussion at work today as to whether to air a graphic that contained the phrase "Happy Memorial Day!"

Ultimately, the decision was to pull the graphic from the show. (Although for the record I have heard other "television personalities" use the greeting).

It's true, Memorial Day opens the doors to Summer. It signals the onset of endless afternoons spent at the swimming pool or at a weekend BBQ.

From a simple standpoint, everyone is "happy" when they have a three-day weekend.

On the other hand, clearly, it is a day of commeration, remembrance and sadness.

The first recorded Memorial Day was held in 1865 on the suggestion of Professor David Blight of the Yale's History Department at the historic race track in Charleston, SC. It was observed mostly by liberated slaves as the site was a former Confederate prison camp as well as a mass grave for Union soldiers who had died while captive. A parade with thousands of freed blacks and Union soldiers was followed by patriotic singing and a picnic.

Memorial Day

For the soldier, war is seldom about politics.

Hornish Wins, Andretti(s) Dazzle

2006-05-28T13:31:00.000-07:00

Sam Hornish and Roger Penske had the fastest car in the race and everyone knew it. Despite bad racing luck and a late caution flag, Hornish had just enough left to pass rookie Marco Andretti in the race's final yards in a thrilling finish to the 90th Indy 500.

All the talk was about team Letterman and Danica Patrick, who finished a respectable 8th, but in the end it was the 19-year-old Andretti who stole the show. Andretti, who needless to say is the third generation of America's most recognizable open-wheel racing name, passed his father Michael to grab the lead with just 2 laps to go.

When Hornish attempted a pass in turn 3 and was promptly blocked by Andretti on the inside, it appeared that the Rookie would have enough car to reach the checkered flag. Hornish regrouped, however, and delivered a beautifully timed pass to win a 500 mile race by less than 2 car lengths.

Who knows, with the combination of Danicamania and, now, Marcomania, maybe this sport does have a future?

Indy 500 #90

Really, why not use this shot twice in one day?

Do You Care?

2006-05-28T07:52:00.000-07:00

Today they race for 500 miles around an oval track in Indianapolis in the "greatest spectacle in racing."

But as a betting man, I would comfortably wager that the vast majority of Americans couldn't name three drivers in today's race (sports fans even).

I can remember as a child that the race seemed to have a certain importance in the social tapestry. Why has the race fallen so far behind America's newest racing obsession NASCAR?

Of course, the split between IRL and CART has hurt, but more than that I believe the abundance of non-American drivers hurts the sport as well. We all know Americans are arrogant enough to ignore any sport that does not prominently feature successful bearers of the Stars and Bars (think of soccer or how far tennis has fallen since the days of Agassi, Sampras, Courier, Chang).

For this sport to become front page news again, a little driver of the female sort needs to reach the checkers first. Her name: Danica Patrick.

Really, I just wanted to show the world that I can and will handicap anything and everything.

My selections:

Sam Hornish, Jr. - The chalk by all accounts, Hornish sits on the pole today and has been, as they say in the game, "fast all month." Although I believe Hornish will win, I could never bet this at 4-1.

Buddy Rice - Here's my value play. This sneaky driver is always competitive and seems to have had a fast car by the end of qualifying. This currently trades at 27-1.

Tony Kanan - Was clearly at the top of his sport a few years ago. To my mostly untrained eye, he seems to offer a nice price a 10-1.

Indy 500

Cute as a button.

No Rake?

2006-05-26T09:32:00.000-07:00

Think back in the annals of SCE history (that is, just over two months) and you'll likely recall before we got embroiled in so much two-bit social commentary and armchair political analysis, this site had a different aim.

That's right, this was supposed to be a poker blog. So, alas, today I show you a crazy hand and sing the praises of "free" online poker.

Rake free poker has been bantered about in the poker community for at least a couple years and many major sites are now refunding at least a portion of a player's rake in the form of rebates and/or promotions.

But World Poker Exchange is the first site to go live literally rake free. In fact, the site does charge a rake, but the entire thing is refunded at the end of each week. I played yesterday at a $50 No Limit Table for around 3 hours and I'm already owed $22.76.

Just imagine the money you could get back if you were a high roller like Alan Milesky!

The logic, I assume with some certainty, is that the increased traffic and publicity will drive players to the site's already successful sportsbook and casino.

In fact, it's what those in the retail game call a "loss leader."

Loss Leader

Is all your money going to the "house?"

Gangsta Rap Nostalgia (singer-songwriter style)

2006-05-23T23:57:00.000-07:00

Another in the now growing group of rap songs turned sentimental.

(this courtesy of Will Shake of 4th Street Poker Tour fame)

I work relatively close to Compton

Be The Boy

Circa 1990, I was one cool kid when I got this NWA tape.

Baghdad E.R.

2006-05-22T11:05:00.000-07:00

This new HBO documentary was without question the most grueling (and perhaps compelling) hour I've ever spent in front of a television.

I wanted to change the channel numerous times. I never did.

What makes this movie so special it its sheer dedication to the "cinema verite" style, the type of approach that Al Maysles famously called "direct cinema."

Its stance is neither pro-war nor anti-war (in fact, you can even find a favorable review at the DOD website).

Its doctors and soldiers, many of whom make no secret their disdain for the war, are painted only as professionals who intend to do a job.

Cinema verite

Defenselink.mil

If this film can't make you care about this stupid war, nothing will.

This soldier bled to death following massive wounds sustained via, what else, a roadside bomb.

What a difference a fortnight makes

2006-05-21T21:52:00.000-07:00

In a effort to become the "feel good" story of the decade, Barbaro has survived a five-hour reconstructive surgery on his right hind leg and actually stands a reasonably good chance of living out his life having sex with the world's most desirable female horses.

The surgery lingered through the afternoon (in fact, evening in Pennsylvania) as the world sat idly by awaiting the fate of this strapping three-year-old colt who so many believed would become the sport's next superstar.

Dr. Dean Richardson, the surgeon from the University of Pennsylvania's New Bolton Center for Large Animals, said Barbaro's leg was shattered into "more than 20 pieces" and required extensive metal to repair.

The battle is far from over, the surgeon was quick to note. Due to the lack of blood flow to a horse's legs, Barbaro still may have only a "50-50" chance at long term survival. Complications could include, of course, infection or a condition called laminitis, or more commonly, "foundering," in which the horse essentially breaks down over time due to an improper distribution of its weight and subsequent severe muscular inflammation.

Have you ever considered the size of a horse's foot relative to its weight? (approx. 1200-1300 pounds for male thoroughbreds).

Laminitis

Whether it ultimately be life or death for the now beloved Barbaro, I believe I learned something about the sport of horseracing this weekend.

Really, why were calloused old men usually concerned only with Pick 4 or Superfecta returns reduced to tears when they watched this poor colt reduced to a crippled mess on the Pimlico main track Saturday?

The reason, I think, is because the horses, like it or not, run for us. Whether it be a low-level claiming race or a $1 million stakes race, the horses simply get in the gate and run.

And, like in any sport, occasionally an athlete comes along that most everyone agrees is "special," the rare exception who can transcend his game and become front page news. Horseracing has longed for such a runner for many years.

But a horse can't bad-mouth his teammate like Terrell Owens or shun the media like Barry Bonds.

Whether or not you're a fan or racing, there's hardly any denying there's something "pure" about this game that just made this story so damn sad.

And now, we hope, makes it the stuff of sappy Hollywood melodrama.

Viva Barbaro!

The world's most famous horse enjoys some oats after surgery Sunday.

Tragedy at Pimlico

2006-05-20T15:49:00.000-07:00

In a truly stunning turn of events today in the 131st Preakness Stakes, mega-favorite Barbaro severely injured himself within the race's first quarter of a mile.

Michael Matz's previously unbeaten colt was clearly eager to run as he broke through the starting gate prior to the race. A stunned buzz rose over the crowd as the horse who had garnered so much attention all week stood alone on the track. Barbaro appeared the consummate professional, however, and reloaded calmly after only a brief delay.

He broke running when the gate open for real and joined the pack early. Barbaro raced for a few strides until jockey Edgar Prado pulled up quickly well before the first turn. It was clear even to my untrained eye that Barbaro had suffered a significant break of the right hind ankle.

Dr. Larry Bramlage, the attending veterinarian for the race, confirmed the bad news just minutes after the race. Barbaro had suffered a double fracture both above and below the ankle.

If you're entirely unfamiliar with racing, when a horse pulls up due to injury it is never a good sign. Horses bear so much weight on their legs (obviously) that any significant break is often life-threatening.

If you're extremely shallow, Bernardini was the race's eventual winner.

Developing...

Trainer Michael Matz consoles owner Getchen Jackson as a visibly frightened Barbaro stands in the background.

Maryland, My Maryland

2006-05-18T12:48:00.000-07:00

The oft-overlooked Preakness Stakes will take us one step closer to proving whether Barbaro is the freak that some of us believe he is or whether he is just another nice racehorse who was not great enough win the Triple Crown.

The field has drawn a mere 8 entrants and, subsequently, the ire of some horseracing purists who long for the days of pure competition. Only three of the 20 horses who entered the Kentucky Derby have chosen to "run back" on only two weeks rest and challenge Barbaro. Granted, the two challengers, Brother Derek and Sweetnorthernsaint, are without question the two horses most capable of beating Michael Matz's undefeated colt, but this was the fewest returners since Spectacular Bid won the Derby in 1979.

In truth, the decision by top trainers such as Bob Baffert or Todd Pletcher to run amounts to nothing more than financial. It simply makes little sense to risk the health of these talented horses running them in races in which they have little chance to win.

I've reviewed the tapes of Affirmed, Seattle Slew and, yes, even the vaunted Secretariat. Those horses ran in small Preakness and Belmont stakes for the very same reaseon. Fear.

Barbaro sits at Even money on the morning line, but he will likely be bet down as low as 3-5. And, frankly, this horse deserves odds on status.

I go on the record here saying Barbaro becomes the first horse since 1978's Affirmed to win the Triple Crown.

Preakness 131

Affirmed stands at Jonabell Farm before his death in 2001.

Down the Stretch, the Ten-Men Falter

2006-05-17T14:09:00.000-07:00

(following to be read in your worst English accent)

A valiant Arsenal held on into the 76th minute of the Champion's League final in Paris on this Wednesday, only to lose 2-1 on two late Barca goals.

Following the dramatic send off of their number one goalkeeper Jens Lehmann in just the game's 18th minute, Arsenal appeared to perhaps have the legs to cling to their one goal lead.

Despite being reduced to 10 men, Arsenal took the lead in the 37th minute when central defender Sol Campbell headed home a wonderfully placed Thierry Henry freekick.

But Barcelona striker Samuel Eto'o finally delivered short-side on a feed from Henrik Larsson only 14 minutes from full time. A mere five minutes later, Brazilian Belletti put the gamewinner squarely between the wickets of keeper Manuel Alumnia.

The Pride of Catalonia

The flares were lit following Barcelona's second European League championship.

Phase Two of the New America?

2006-05-15T22:44:00.000-07:00

President Bush went before America in a televised address tonight announcing his intention to send National Guard troops to secure the U.S. - Mexico border.

Truthfully, immigration reform may be Bush's last chance to do anything right. I say this not as an attacker, but as an observer.

Bush failed miserably in an attempt to use a Social Security overhall to detract attention from Iraq and to establish a legacy beyond 9-11 for himself. With new political advisors in many key postions, the immigration push seems a logical extension of those same aims.

How exactly do you define "militarize"?

In other news, the "new" Bush administration released the names of every detainee ever held at the prison in Guantamo Bay, Cuba. This comes a mere four years after it first housed prisoners.

(notice only 8 of the 759 detainees were Iraqi).

So those were the "enemy combatants"

And, buried in the headlines, the news that seven more American soldiers were killed over the weekend in Iraq.

The Low-Grade War Marches On

Meanwhile in that far off desert...

Tinseltown

2006-05-14T23:53:00.000-07:00

Another weekend in Los Angeles.

Fast on its way to becoming just another has been on the Hollywood social scene, The Hotel Roosevelt.

Bathroom graffiti from a well-positioned dive bar near Hollywood and Highland.

Much the Best

2006-05-11T12:16:00.000-07:00

Horseplayers love to describe a race's victor as "much the best," meaning that a horse could presumably win a given race despite bad racing luck or even a talented field.

In fact, like so many things, this phrase has become a cliche in the world of horseracing.

That said, Barbaro was clearly much the best last Saturday in Derby 132.

Thanks to the wonders of TiVo brand digital video recording, I have watched the Kentucky Derby 10 or so times.

The race essentially unfolded according to the script as Sinister Minister and Keyed Entry fought for a torrid pace as expected.

Contenders Lawyer Ron and Brother Derek could never really contend given their unlucky post positions of 17 and 18, respectively.

At the 5/16th pole only two horses seemed capable of winning.

Sweetnorthernsaint (the post time favorite thanks to a slew of late money likely care of the mafia) actually made a noble charge on the inside thanks to a favorable trip.

But then Jockey Edgar Prado gave a confident look back as Barbaro begun to stride out in his gangly, somewhat awkward manner. From that point forward it was clear that the only question remaining was how by many lengths would this unbeaten beast win.

Even the "charts," which serve as the sort of historical record of every race, make it clear. The comments read (my italics):

BARBARO stumbled at the start, came up running and leaned in soon after bumping with BOB AND JOHN placing him in tight, raced under light restraint while between horses early, continued five or six wide around the first turn and into the backstretch, raced to the leaders under his own power midway on the far turn, reached the front at the five-sixteenths pole, accelerated quickly to a clear advantage approaching the stretch while angling near the inside, then drew off under strong hand urging as much the best.

So, to summarize, this horse stumbled, raced around comfortably until willingly taking the lead and running off without even being shown the whip.

This horse is a freak. Whether or not he wins the Triple Crown we will know in one month's time, but I can tell you one thing (actually two).

This horse is far better than Funny Cyde. And this horse is better than Smarty Jones.

Bararo is a serious threat to win the Triple Crown. Bona fide.

Naturally, we can't have a discussion about horseracing without a bit about wagering. So as a part of SCE's continuing effort to make the world aware of the wonders of superfecta wagering, consider this case in point.

If you liked Barbaro in this race (which many people did making him the second favorite by a close margin) you could have played a superfecta that would have looked like this.

1. Barbaro
2. All
3. All
4. All

This ticket simply means that if Barbaro wins, you will correctly pick the top four horses in order because you have "All" selected in slots 2, 3 and 4.

This ticket would have cost you around $5800 for a $1 superfecta. Or you could have played it on a 10 cent wager for a mere $580 (meaning you pay only 10 cents for each combination instead of $1).

In fact, two horses, Brother Derek (the program favorite) and the late running Jazil, tied for 4th place, meaning you actually get paid two seperate superfectas (because you have all the combinations).

One paid around $42,000.

The other just shy of $30,000.

Ah, the wonders of hindsight handicapping.

Kentucky Derby 132

Next up, Pimlico

Can you say superhorse?

Holy Matrimony and Moderate Anxiety

2006-05-10T00:53:00.000-07:00

Florida's scenic Gulf Coast region played host to my dear mother's wedding this past Monday.

Only five privileged attendees witnessed this truly lovely ceremony held on the shoreline of Destin, FL near sunset (for official purposes, I signed as a "Witness").

As a sort of exclamation point to this joyous weekend, I made efforts to convince myself that my Boeing 767 was almost certainly going to crash (or at the very least make an emergency landing).

The nerves began following a last second gate change to literally the opposite end of Atlanta's massive airport. Shortly thereafter, I learned that a supposed "security sweep" of our aircraft upon its international arrival would cause a slight delay.

Well, the "security sweep" soon morphed into a "maintenance issue." In fact, two only semi-qualified looking mechanics were still fiddling around in the cockpit as we boarded the plane.

Frankly, I don't want to see any mechanics fiddling in the cockpit when I board.

How will you die?

Across Texas we encountered and dodged what appeared to be a trio of fierce thunderstorms making for one of my most turbulent filled flights in recorded history.

All the while King Kong was the in-flight movie (and even that didn't work properly). Besides, that movie was totally uninteresting.

Suffice it to say, I drank a fair amount.

I could bore you with further complaints about soon-to-be-bankrupt Delta Airlines, but, alas, this post was supposed to be about my dear mother's wedding.

The happy couple mid-nuptial: Tim and Julie Mogler.

The odds of actually dying in a plane crash: 1 in 5,704.

Home, Home on the Range

2006-05-05T11:30:00.000-07:00

In our not-so-continuing coverage of the first state to rid evolution from its textbooks, Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius announced today it was high time that the Sunflower State put a minimum age on marriages in the state.

It seems the uproar arose when a 14-year old girl from neighboring Nebraska made the no-so-scenic drive across state lines to tie the knot in Kansas.

Do you take this teen to be your lawfully wedded wife?

Anxious to consummate the marriage, the groom leads his bride back to Nebraska. Look closely, that's Topeka in the background.

Life in the Doldrums

2006-05-04T14:09:00.000-07:00

Another frustrating night at the Commerce saw me lose a key hand in which I was a staggeringly big favorite.

I arrived at around 11:00 and played my normal tight-aggresive cash game style and was up about $125 after flopping a set of queens when my table broke. The table I moved to was a dream and I was without a doubt the best player in the bunch. I was outplaying the big stacks and people just kept reaching into their wallets complaining about how bad their cards were (and there was a blond with a lowcut top sitting next to me).

I was up to around $350 ($160 profit) when I was dealt 57 offsuit on the button. I limped with three other callers.

Flop came:

4 6 8 rainbow

Gin!

Two players check when the big stack (a tourist in town for a "martial arts photo shoot") bet $15. I called quickly as if playing two big cards. The other two players fold.

I'm in position with the stone cold nuts saying to myself, "don't pair the board, don't pair the board."

Turn:

8

I didn't put him on a set and a boat at this point seems almost totally out of the question. He checks, I bet $30 and he raises to $60. I consider moving all in at this point, but opt to call.

I know I can get paid off for the rest of my stack if it blanks.

"Don't pair the board, don't pair the board."

River:

6

I'm certain my opponent has made 8's full and he confirms this by moving all in for his last $300 or so.

I fold my flopped straight face up and his proudly says full house showing a red Q8.

After being over a 32-1 favorite on the flop (97% to 3%), I leave a few minutes later up a mere $60 for my nearly 4 hours work.

doldrums

1. A period of stagnation or slump.
2. A period of depression or unhappy listlessness.

1. A region of the ocean near the equator, characterized by calms, light winds, or squalls.
2. The weather conditions characteristic of these regions of the ocean.

Will the other shoe drop? Stay tuned to SCE for updates (or better yet, logged on).

Colbert Lays It On Good

2006-05-02T13:02:00.000-07:00

Since every blog and its blog cousin has posted this clip over the past few days (and, alas, I aspire to be part of said "community"), I figured it time for SCE to jump on the Stephen Colbert bandwagon.

If you don't pay attention to "news," Stephen Colbert caused quite a stir after giving a scathing mock tribute to Bush at the recent White House Correspondent's Dinner.

At times the silence and nervous laughter of the crowd is enough to make even the most ardent Bush hater feel a tad uncomfortable.

WARNING: This speech is over 25 minutes in length and requires you to know at least a little bit about the things that have gone so painfully wrong in this country over the past 6+ years.

2006 White House Correspondent's Dinner

Like this poor swine, the President got roasted.

Craigslist Is Strange

2006-05-01T13:54:00.000-07:00

Due to a combination of extreme boredom and apathy (possibly not in that order), I took to browsing Craigslist to pass the time at work today.

Have you ever read the "Free" section? What is it with people who can't bring themselves to throw one single thing away?

Linked below is what I would consider an extreme example. It reminds me of spending time at my grandparents house and having them try to give me the half-eaten bag of Baked Lays that they didn't like or an unopened muffin mix that they "just don't think they'll ever use."

Seriously?

A decent candy, sure, but does it warrant this type of treatment?

Protestors Flood Streets, Mayor Reverses Course

2006-05-01T12:12:00.000-07:00

Proving its power as an up-and-coming source for news, SCE's coverage of Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa's intent to boycott the boycott seems to have had an effect.

The mayor's office announced Monday morning that in fact Villaraigosa would attend the second of two large demonstrations planned for today in the City of Angels (presumably after he meets with NFL officials regarding the prospect of a team in Los Angeles).

As many as 500,00 immigrants, immigrant supporters and taco vendors were expected to attend rallies in Los Angles on this Monday (one of which will end less than 3 blocks from my humble abode).

The More the Merrier

Why the cheeky smile? Because the Mayor has a handfull of ass, that's why.

Phase One of the New America?

2006-04-28T18:18:00.000-07:00

A bizarre and seemingly under-reported story circulated through the bowels of the wires today as rumors of wholescale immigrant round-ups caused Hispanics to stay home from school, work and, yes, even church in recent days.

Coming or going?

No, seriously.

Len Mills, executive vice president of the Associated General Contractors of South Florida, estimated in an interview with the Associated Press that "at least 50 percent of workers on construction jobs in the region hadn't shown up for work."

A Day Without A Mexican?

In related news, Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa (the city's first Hispanic mayor since 1872) will attend talks with NFL owners and management in Dallas as opposed to the massive pro-immigrant rallies planned in Los Angeles that threaten to "shut down the city."

A team in LA would be pretty cool

A picture that popped up from googling "immigrant." Remember, in America we are all immigrants.

A Day of Degeneracy

2006-04-27T10:12:00.000-07:00

Yesterday marked the opening day of Hollywood Park's Spring/Summer meeting. It was a lovely day in Southern California and as always it was nice to see the ponies running so close to home.

One "bad beat" story to tell, but I'll spare you the details. Basically, it involved Dino and I having the right numbers in place and not ponying up (pun intended) the cash.

Our would-have-been superfecta paid $2500 for $1.

6th Race, Next Post 4:24

Off: 3:55

6 1/2 Furlongs. 3 Year Olds And Up Maiden Special Weight Purse: $50,520

#	Horse	Jockey	Weight	Win	Place	Show
5	Unrequited	Valdivia J Jr	117	6.60	4.60	3.60
1	Buddyandrowdy	Nakatani C S	119		9.00	7.20
2	Global Heat	Baze T C	117			14.80
	Times in 5ths:	:21²	:44²	1:10²		1:16⁴
	Times in 100ths:	:21.58	:44.57	1:10.45		1:16.94

Scratched: Presidential Cause

Also ran: Sixth Street Joe, Owen Roe O'Neill, Tug o' War, Request Given and Maritime Commander

Winning Trainer: Ellis Ronald W - Owner: Jay Em Ess Stable

$1 Exacta (5-1) Paid $30.50

$2 Quinella (1-5) Paid $45.60

$1 Trifecta (5-1-2) Paid $536.50

$1 Superfecta (5-1-2-9) Paid $2,513.60

$2 Daily Double (3-5) Paid $39.00 Daily Double Pool $18,292

$1 Pick 3 (3-3-5) 3 Correct Paid $74.40 Pick 3 Pool $65,69

Then to follow up the afternoon of gambling, we decided an evening of gambling would be an appropriate night cap.

A pretty solid home game materialized in the usual spot and we ended up getting $580 in the pot with 7 players (despite some heated controversy on the subjects of rebuys and addons).

The game went on for quite a while and was, in general, somewhat tighter than it typical seems. Overall, I was quite happy with the way I played and ultimately brokered a chop for $170 profit.

The Day's Tally (wagers only)

Horses -110
Poker +170
Lakers +40
White Sox -30

TOTAL +70

The horses parade in the paddock prior to Wednesday's second race.

Ringing Endorsement?

2006-04-23T13:52:00.000-07:00

Wasn't it this sort of public relations strategizing that doomed the Democrats in 2004?

Two words: Massachusetts Liberals

Can you recall the last time SCE published an image of a donkey? (hint: think of my skills as a cardplayer).

BREAKING NEWS: Angry Consumer Crashes Car Into Gas Station (or close to it)

2006-04-23T11:01:00.000-07:00

This an SCE exclusive.

Operatives in the Miracle Mile area of Los Angeles reported Saturday night that a motorist attempted to drive his car into a gas station at the hectic corner of San Vicente and Olympic in an apparent protest of $3.35 gasoline prices.

Sadly, an inground utility box prevented this dissenter from getting his/her point across.

Here, save 10 cents a gallon

This gutsy driver nearly made it to the station before crashing.

Less than 24 hours later, the utility box / security barrier had been replaced.

The Constant Gardener

2006-04-21T18:00:00.000-07:00

In an entirely unforeseen turn of events, I decided to repot a plant that somehow managed to make it through the harsh Los Angeles winter.

That's right, I said repot.

It wasn't really my plant at all, but it had been sitting nearer to my apartment door than any other since I moved in. It was terribly overgrown with a tall, prickly weed, but the gutsy sprout still managed to show signs of life within the last few weeks. I must admit, I'm a sucker for a good underdog story and was suddenly determined to give this dreadful old plant a new lease on life.

Although no horticulturalist, I can safely say that this plant's soil was atrocious. I was shocked to find large rocks embedded in the dirt (and how they got there will forever remain a mystery) and struggled to salvage any of the plant.

But after some anxious moments on the operating table, I can now safely forecast that with a bit of help from Miracle-Gro potting soil (does this stuff actually work?) this plant may have some precious time left..

Miracle-Gro

Admittedly, a truly gifted blogger would have provided before and after shots (and, oh, how telling they would have been), but, alas, I am yet a beginner.

The patient before surgery.

One of the rocks after being extracted from the old, evil soil. This thing was the size of a grapefruit.

A National Holiday?

2006-04-20T10:04:00.000-07:00

It's April 20.

That's right, 4-20.

Does that mean anything to you? If not, then chances are you've never been to a Grateful Dead concert (didn't the Dead always reserve hotel room 420?) or spent the afternoon eating Cheetos and staring at a blacklight poster or that you're just old and out of touch.

Despite the controversy about its origins (we grew up in Kansas believing the popular story about 420 being police code for marijuana), April 20th has become the (un)official pot smoking holiday.

Snopes.com, a great site for Urban Legends, claims that the term originated from a group of high school kids from San Rafael, CA in 1971.

Snopes

Googling "420" reveals there's even a porn site of naked girls smoking pot. Now that's mainstream.

420 Girls

Without question, this man is a criminal and should be treated as such.

Bleeding Blue

2006-04-20T09:28:00.000-07:00

Last night saw my annual trip to Chavez Ravine with a friend to watch the Dodgers battle the visiting Cubs. As is generally the case, the loveable losers had a vocal contigent on hand to cheer on the cursed team.

Dodgers Stadium is a fine place to watch a game and reminds me some of the place I grew up watching baseball, Kaufmann Stadium in Kansas City. Surprisingly enough for a city built on appearances, Dodgers Stadium still feels more like a ballpark than it does a "stadium."

We bought some seats for $20 in the outfield, but by the third inning were seated firmly behind home plate on the first base side.

The Dodgers led throughout, but 3 runs for the visiting Cubs in the 8th were enough to give them the series 2 games to 1.

In my opinion, recent addition Juan Pierre was without question the player of the game. His tenacity and fundamental play were enough produce 4 total bases and 2 steals. Pierre is a "ballplayers ballplayer," to use that cliche. Without question he could fit nicely into any era (provided it was an era that allowed blacks the right to play).

Another story of note was the sprained wrist suffered by Derrek Lee in the bottom half of the 7th inning.

Juan Pierre

The Los Angeles Dodgers

The view of the nostalgic Dodgers' scoreboard in right field.

Humpty Dumpty Sat on a Wall

2006-04-19T15:04:00.000-07:00

Karl Rove surrendered his role as what the administration had dubbed "chief policy coordinator" on this Wednesday.

This will allow Rove to focus more on fundraising and big-picture thinking with the approach of the November congressional elections, officials said.

Rove places tail firmly between legs

The President escorts Rove to an extremely expensive lunch after announcing the semi-firing. Can you say "lame duck?"

Call me Ishmael

2006-04-16T10:51:00.000-07:00

Dined last night at the semi-famous Gladstone's in Malibu. Two of my fellow poker degenerates spend at least part of their week working at this fine establishment, and one of them was kind enough to construct a stunning "leftover whale" to help enhance the dining experience (and this despite the fact(s) that he was not our server and we had no leftovers).

Gladstone's

Last night also marked my last occasion to spend time with a friend before her pending move to New York on Monday.

Despite my efforts to ignore and / or deny the fact, you are certainly, as they say, near and dear to my heart. I will miss you.

Making art out of leftovers ain't easy. Notice the active blow-hole.

Death Discrepancy

2006-04-14T16:45:00.000-07:00

Who were those two poor forgotten souls?

(and you can bet the poor kids probably were poor).

2371 or 2373?

Maj. Gen. Rick Lynch attempts to explain why Americans continue dying.

What animal best describes my abilities as a card player?

2006-04-13T22:02:00.000-07:00

Tuesday Night Lake Show

2006-04-12T13:06:00.000-07:00

In an effort to pay off debts incurred getting schooled by yours truly in Chinese poker, I allowed my debtor to take me to a Lakers game Tuesday night instead of settling up with greenbacks.

The playoff bound Lakers played host to a young and largely untested Golden State squad who looked for the most part ready for the season to end. Despite trailing by double digits early on, the Lakers cruised to victory with a surprising blend of balance and teamwork for an often one-dimensional team.

Kobe Bryant managed a ho-hum 30 points in the first half and I remarked that something special may be in store. After a dominating third quarter by the Lakers as a whole, Bryant played sparingly in the second half finishing with a game high 31.

Lamar Odom showed solid energy from the opening tip and recorded his first triple double as a Laker (15 pts, 13 rbd, 10 asst). Smush Parker added 18 while Kwame Brown was active in a 15 and 15 double-double.

Bright spots for the visiting Warriors included former-Laker Derek Fisher and a rookie out of high school named Monta Ellis, who appeared to possess a nice blend of court saavy and athleticism.

Have you heard of Monta Ellis?

As is often the case at a Lakers game, as much of a show transpired off the court as well. We scored some amazing seats literally two rows behind the Lakers bench and I did my fair share of talking to players and coaches alike.

I encouraged Coach Jackson to put Aaron McKey in the game (to no avail, McKey was the only Laker who didn't hit the floor) and was quite literally the first non-Laker in this entire world to congratulate Lamar on his triple-double.

An episode of HBO's semi-hit Entourage was shooting during the game and the entire cast was seated courtside.

Although I doubt he factors into the forthcoming episode, also seated courtside near Adrian Grenier and the rest of the bunch was one Phil Ivey. That's right...Phil Ivey.

Entourage's Jeremy Piven, complete with mediocre toupee, discusses the art of beating sexual assault charges with Kobe Bryant before tip-off.

The Zen Master: Head Coach Phil Jackson.

Wal-Mart Eyes More Ways to Control Your Money (No, Literally)

2006-04-10T10:06:00.000-07:00

Everyone's favorite human rights abuser Wal-Mart was the subject of the first-ever public hearings on a bank application held by the FDIC on this Monday.

That's right, National Bank of Wal-Mart coming to a Midwest intersection near you!

But as much as I like disparaging the despicable retail behemoth, alas, there may actually be two sides to this story. Could big bad Wal-Mart conceivably be in the right with this one?

In fact, Wal-Mart seeks to abuse a regulatory loophole, known as an industrial loan corporation, that has already been utilized by General Motors, General Electric, Pitney Bowes, BMW, Harley-Davidson and chief rival Target.

According to the discgraceful merchant, the proposed financial institutions would not compete with retail banks, but would significantly ease the incredible fees that Wal-Mart incurs processing billions of credit and debit transactions yearly.

In essence, Wal-Mart wants to charge itself for processing its own transactions. Vertical integration, anyone?

Surprise, surprise, the retailer argues it merely aims to lower its own costs and to pass on those savings to its customers in the form of, guess what, lower prices...Always!

fdic.gov

walmart.com

Not unlike Wal-Mart, this fierce yet purple creature is also a behemoth.

Further (and more articulate) Freedom Day Celebrations

2006-04-09T19:34:00.000-07:00

As a follow up to this morning's exclusive SCE coverage re: Sunni Arabs detonating a slew of car bombs in celebration of Freedom Day, this written by a fellow poker player and cynic.

Vaughn Sandman's take on this pathetic war

Scroll past the bad beat story and read "A Word on Politics."

It's actual more like 2,500 words and is at the very least somewhat worth the 10 or so minutes it should take you to read.

Who said poker players weren't articulate?

Hangovers, A Tradition Unlike Any Other, Freedom Day and Canadian Mafia?

2006-04-09T07:20:00.000-07:00

It's 8:10 AM Sunday morning as I sit, working, slightly hungover.

As I glance at the Masters coverage for the first time this morning, I'm rather delighted to see one Phil Mickelson atop the leaderboard at Augusta National.

Chad Campbell has apparently had a rough go of it this morning concluding his 3rd round. How will things unfold on this Sunday in Georgia? Developing...

Go ahead and put "attend the Masters" on that theoretical list of things to do before death (or, better yet, before incontinence and/or senility).

Today, Palm Sunday, the start of the Christian Holy Week, coincidentally or otherwise, also marks the third anniversary of American control in Iraq. In an effort to further brainwash the colonized, American politcal puppeteers have deemed April 9 "Freedom Day" in Iraq.

To mark the occasion, SCE sources on the ground in Baghdad report that Sunni Arabs have detonated numerous car bombs in celebration. Developing...

"Low Grade" Civil War?

And to close things out on this Sunday morning, a bit of strange news from North of the border. Who knew that they had murders in Canada?

Dead Man in Trunk

No, not a press still from this week's Sopranos. Actually, a dead man in a trunk in Canada.

Friday Night Lights

2006-04-08T12:53:00.000-07:00

Due to my lack of a tangible social life, I decided again that the Commerce Casino in not-so scenic Commerce, CA was a suitable place to spend a Friday night.

Around 10:30 was my arrival time and I quickly settled in at a 100 NL table. Only some old guy who appeared to have trouble reading the board had any chips whatsoever and the table seemed to me tight/passive, the toughest type of table to make money against (loose/passive being the easiest).

So I mainly just folded and stole, folded and stole for a couple of hours as the best hand I saw, literally, was a pair of 4's in two hours.

I was around the original 100 buyin when two compatriots from the 4th Street Poker Tour showed up at my very table! That's right, none other than Richie Rich, all time leading money earner, and Jamie aka Drop It Like It's Hot, were seated to my left.

Unfortunately, I laid a pretty sick beat on Jamie when I limped with AhKd and the board came:

2hAd2d

Truthfully, I don't remember the post flop action, but Jamie bet $25 when the turn came:

Jd

I raised him the rest of his chips knowing that if he had a deuce I was at least drawing live to any diamond.

Sure enough, poor Jamie turned over his Qd2c. At this point he was still a better than 3-1 favorite to win the pot. The river card:

5d

A few minutes later AK would be my undoing, however, but I can't be upset with the way I played the hand.

I made it $15 to go on the button and got two callers. Board came King high rainbow and I promptly bet out $40 (in hindsight perhaps $60 would have been a better bet). My opponent hemmed and hawed and I really think he was about to fold twice. I figured him for QQ or JJ. Finally, he calls impulsively as if giving his money away.

Turn: Q

I hate this card but bet $60 anyway, hoping he has JJ. He instacalls.

River: J

Now I'm virtually certain he has a set as he checks to me I say, "I think I like your hand." He turns over QQ.

I've had a few beers and it's nearly 3:00, down $80 I decide to call it an evening.

Jamie, the victim of my bad beat, seated to Dino's right in a "Heads Up Honky Meeting" from a previous 4th Street event.

The man, the myth, the legend: Rich "Richie Rich" Juliano. A true card playing talent.

Another Day, Another Tow Truck

2006-04-06T11:43:00.000-07:00

To say I've been having car trouble lately would be a gross understatement and last night was no exception. I was on my way to a little Wednesday night home game when disaster struck (yet again) on the dreaded 405 freeway.

Look at it this way, I tell myself, at least I joined AAA and have gotten 3 tows for a mere $45.

So, naturally, I left the car on the side of the road and went to the poker game anyway.

We were playing 5 handed and I promptly gave away my entire stack in the first 10 minutes. Thank the grace of God for rebuys, that's what I always say (and yes, you cynic, of course God cares about poker).

John Collins absolutely got hit over the head with the deck and was flopping trips and straights to no end (and to the frustration of everyone at the table). But I was unfazed as I possess absolute ownership of Collins and his poker game, so I rebought for half the buyin amount and was able to use aggressive play and a bit of good fortune to negotiate a chop and a $50 profit on the evening (and a couch to sleep on since I had no car).

Thanks to John and Al for their hospitality in my dire time of need.

The night's eventual champion and ever-gracious host, John Collins. Does the Pick have his moxy back?

SCE's First Bit of Hate Mail

2006-04-04T12:51:00.000-07:00

And lastly on this Tuesday (yet worthy of its own post), the following quote comes from perhaps my dearest friend in the world (which may or may not say more about my lack of meaningful relationships than it does her merit as a friend) upon seeing this my newest vanity project for the first time,

"is it just me, or do these things seem incredibly
self-centered, and yet strangely impersonal
at the same time?"

I highly doubt it's just you. Haven't you called me both "incredibly self-centered" and/or "strangely impersonal" over the years?

You know I truly adore you.

Rain in Los Angeles, Truman Capote, Poker Congrats and Words of Wisdom

2006-04-04T12:18:00.000-07:00

Water is falling from the sky again in Los Angeles and experts have taken to calling it a "Spring storm." Does that current radar image look like much of a "storm" to you?

And in an effort to prove to the cynics that I am indeed still literate, I've taken to reading Truman Capote's collected short stories and so far have been thoroughly impressed. I've got to get me some of those red pants.

Semi-sincere congratulations go out to recent PartyPoker multitable victor Alan Milesky, who despite battling a severe cold (must be that "Spring storm") was still able to book a $6,000+ win yesterday. Way to go Alan!

For some reason, Al confessed in our home game last night that he couldn't wait to tell me, in particular, about the win. Gloating anyone?

The above quote was offered by John von Neumann, a Hungarian born mathematician and pioneer in computer engineering and, subsequently, game theory. Works nicely for poker, don't you think?

One Man's Rite of Passage

2006-04-02T18:06:00.000-07:00

Saturday night saw a host of friends honoring one of their own in a salute to his willingness to sleep with only woman for the rest of his life (or for at least approximately 7.2 years (the average length of American marriages that end in divorce. (Although, his wife to be is a Brit so how that skews the stats I'm currently uncertain))).

Nevertheless, the night of debauchery began at a decidedly gay locale in West Hollywood, but despite the lack of straight men in the establishment, I found the food, service and atmosphere to be outstanding. I went for the Lamb Osso Bucco which was served pot roast style and resulted in a true culinary delight. The dish of choice for the evening was without a doubt the Flat Iron Steak with Sweet Potato fries.

http://obarrestaurant.com/

From there we headed to our room at the Hyatt for some more pre-game boozing before walking over to Sunset Strip landmark Saddle Ranch to round out the night's "legal" drinking hours.

Some details have been omitted to protect the innocent and/or guilty, but photographic proof of the non-censored events is posted below for your unadulterated viewing enjoyment.

The view of the "world famous" Sunset Strip as seen from Hyatt room 1014.

The ever-disappearing Alex Reznik, front and center.

A willing mechanical bullrider.

The groom to be, one Scott Addison Clay. The night's rock star, Scott Wheatley, looks on in astonishment.

Dennis Hopper: A Survey

2006-04-01T13:58:00.000-08:00

That really was the title of the exhibition, not some "appropriate sounding" thing I dreamt up for this blog.

Anyway, as promised, for all my faithful readers, some photos of the stunning Dennis Hopper show from last Thursday.

(Yes, Dennis Hopper, read the posts people!)

The man himself with the black framed glasses in the middle.

Hopper's photographs were elegantly displayed in this artery of the gallery, while the larger works sat in adjacent viewing rooms.

One of the signature "photo-derived" canvases. That's Bill Cosby hiding in the bushes.

A beautiful oil on canvas. The richness of the reds and the subtle differences in color was quite impressive. This one stretched 21'x14'.

Without question the crown jewel of the showing. This plaster sculpture of a 1957 Chevy was truly a sight to behold. I could have examined this thing for an hour.

Playing at the Commerce...

2006-04-01T10:33:00.000-08:00

Took my first trip to the world famous Commerce Casino in not-so-scenic Commerce, CA last night. Despite being after 10 PM I still managed to encounter some congestion on the 10 freeway due to an accident. If you've never driven in the rain in LA, I recommend just staying home.

When they say "world's largest cardroom," I guess they're not kidding. This place is mammoth. I spent a few minutes on the high limit side because we all know that I'll be raking pots in those games before too long (provided John Collins and Co. keep padding my bankroll).

I was a tad surprised to see them spreading Chinese poker at a $25 nomination. One John Robert Bellande was none to happy to have me looking over his shoulder and asking questions, but do you think I care what Bobby says? They weren't playing with props or naturals which in my opinion takes a lot of the fun from the game. Truthfully, the game looked quite playable, but anyone who has played Chinese knows that it's an action game in which proficiency can be somewhat easily achieved. Other sightings included Chad Brown and Phil Laak.

So, somewhat humbled that I only had $200 in my wallet, I wandered over to the "working man's" area and was happy to find no waiting on a $100 NL table. The game was beatable, but I was content to play tight and look for hands. I mostly folded and stole blinds for the first two hours and was up maybe $30 when I won two big pots in a row with 88 and Q5s, respectively.

It was 1:30 AM and this put me up $175 or so and I felt like a card rush might be coming. Two hands later I was dealt A7d on the button and smooth called. The flop came Ac Kc 10s and a solid, yet slightly loose, woman moved in for her last $75 into a $12 pot. Talk about an overbet! I talked to her a bit and was convinced she had a flush draw so I reluctantly called. Well, I was half right. Too bad her flush draw had also made her the nut straight. That's right poker fans, she turned over the QJc and I had just called off most of my winnings into an extremely dangerous board.

I walked a few minutes later up a mere $75 for the night.

Thursday Night: Part 2

2006-03-31T15:30:00.000-08:00

After the gallery exhibition, I trekked it across town to play in the weekly 4th Street Poker Tour Event. I showed up 30 minutes late (and looking rather dapper), but luckily had yet to be blinded out of any chips.

I played rather tight the entire evening and was lucky enough to have my two sixes hold up against Richie Rich's AK to gather some chips early on.

Shortly thereafter I picked up QQ in the big blind facing a raise from Chris Tremblay (my favorite player). After making a significant reraise, Chris promptly popped me back by moving in for all his chips. I thought things over for a second and decided I was ready to go broke if he indeed had KK or AA (which I thought was a 25% or so) and if he had AK we would race them off.

Dejectedly, Chris turned over AJ and I was a 2-1 favorite to win the pot. My queens held up and I was sitting on a respectable stack. Truthfully, I went mostly card dead for the next 2 hours and ended up folding my way to 3rd.

Congratulations to Jenn "The First Lady" for picking up her first "real" win on the Tour!

www.4thstreetpokertour.com

Thursday Night: Part 1

2006-03-31T15:18:00.000-08:00

A dear friend was kind enough to invite me to a "private" showing of Dennis Hopper's artwork near Museum Row Thursday evening. Having been a long time admirer of Hopper, I jumped at the chance to see his work on display.

To say I was impressed would be an understatement. Dennis Hopper is a true artistic talent who, without the success he achieved as an actor, would almost certainly have made a substantial name for himself in artistic circles.

Held at a discreet, yet stylish, gallery on Wilshire Blvd., Hopper's work (primarily oil on canvas with a few mixed media pieces scattered in) was so much more than the kind of masturbatory self-praise you might expect from someone who has spent nearly 40 years as a mainstay in Hollywood (ie look who I know, look where I was etc etc).

Throughout the 1960s, Hopper spent time photographing many of modern art's leading faces (ie Jasper Johns, Andy Warhol, Roy Lichtenstein, Ed Ruscha and others). His photography collection alone was easily enough to warrant its own showing, but rather the images functioned as a mere compliment to his large canvas pieces which were to scale reproductions of the photos themselves.

Hopper himself was in attendance (looking rather spry for a man nearing 70) and you couldn't have plucked a more fitting crowd from central casting. Other semi-notable sightings included Anjelica Houston and Michael Keaton.

My personal favorite was a plaster sculpture of a 1957 Chevy. A truly remarkable piece (picture below).

The Virgin Post

2006-03-30T13:48:00.000-08:00

This hand from Party almost single handedly forced me to embark on this absurd ship that is the world of poker blogging.

Okay, so admittedly the thought had crossed my mind before.

Where else can I brag to the world about bluffing Tremblay out of his aces or knocking Al out of yet another home game?

So here goes...

We were three handed, blinds 200-400, and I was dealt the "creative" starting hand of 6h4h in big blind.

Button (chip leader) minraises to 800. Small blind and I both call.

Flop comes:

5h 8h 2c

Wow, talk about a near gin flop for my trash hand. At this point, I'm actually a 54% favorite to win the pot.

Both blinds check and the button moves all in for 8815. Small blind instacalls for 2655. With the money in the pot, I call fairly quickly as well for my remaining 6130.

Button reveals AhAd
Small blind reveals 8s10c

Turn: 6c
River: 6s

I knew I had a ton of outs, but I think I may have failed to factor in running sixes.